07/18 4:46PM

Re: the homeless man. Period period. End message subject. Begin body. Elaine, 
This fella keeps bothering me whenever I go to the library to work on my memoirs, and I can’t seem oh god bless it is this still the subject what the heck I thought I

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     Ok thank you Jesus so this fella keeps on bothering me whenever I go to the library Elaine. He’s awfully rude. I often slip outside between pages to have some fresh air and sip from my tea that I keep in a Thermos in the Lincoln because they do not allow out side fool and beverage at the library. This fella is a whopper to say it lightly Elaine. He’s at least six foot nine and I am not a small man myself as you know comma but he surely is half a foot taller than I. He is nearly intimidating and I would be bothered by him if I hadn’t had my Navy career behind me. I believe I told you about my years as a southpaw boxer when we last went to dinner at McAffree’s Seafood (please confirm hyperlink). Wasn’t that a wonderful dinner? The swordfish filet was very nice. Did you enjoy your shrimp salad? Anyhow I would have end hyperlink been bothered by his size if I hadn’t had those years of fighting behind me Elaine he’s simply that large of a fella. I am sending this message to you today because I have finally had enough of these rough Ian in our neighborhood and I think that you should start a petition with the city to have them removed as I know you are passionate about human services or charities or whatever it was you mentioned at the time before our last meeting at that day go pasta joint. What terrible service we had there, Elaine. I do not think you would be able to drag me back there. 
     My experience with this giant buffoon today was untoward and ungentlemanly and I thought to myself begin quotation well this tears it, we cannot have his type in our community any longer end quote. He began as he always does by going on and on about the martians amongst us and how he used to work for them building engines that used so and so diamond bearings to get to Mach 1 in seconds and how the government had implanted a device in his mind to keep him from so on and so forth. Then as if ow tough nowhere he spied this young lady across the road who was getting out of her little Honda and he says “Boy what a rocking pair of ellipses end quotation and I won’t repeat the rest to a woman Elaine exclamation! The only man who should speak about this young woman’s bosom is her husband Elaine and only in the privacy of their marriage bed! Don’t you agree question mark
     Anyhow, I am now available this evening tonight because this man put me off my writing and I would appreciate it greatly if you would cancel your plans with Susan at the university and come meet me at McAffree’s Seafood again at six o’ clock period end hyperlink end hyperlink period God bless it.

I look forward to seeing you tonight at dinner. Please wear the earrings I bought for you as they look much nicer than the cheap turquoise pair you bought on your trip to Arizona. 

Sincerely comma paragraph line break







07/18 4:58PM

Re: Begin transcription etc. etc. 


     As I told you at dinner last week, I do not want to pursue a relationship with you any longer. For the love of God, learn how to type properly and stop using the damn transcription function. I can barely make out what you were attempting to say, but the misogyny came through even so. I am not looking for another husband, or a man to treat me like a delicate flower or a maid or a cook. Since Jonathan passed, I have led a healthy and productive life and I enjoy having fun, not swordfish. Perhaps I will pay a visit to the ruffian at the post office. He sounds like a far more interesting man. 

Enjoy the fish.